Do you feel like you are being held back by your boss? Many of us feel this way but before you answer this question, maybe you should evaluate yourself first!
So, you got your skills, you do a bang up job but yet you never get that golden promotion you have been working so hard for. Clearly your boss is treating you unfairly; maybe it’s the office politics playing its part to get you? As they say, “It’s not WHAT you know, but WHO you know”!
For some I dare say this is the case, but maybe for many we just need to improve on our other skills such as our people skills or time management. These skills are vital in the work place but many of us over look them and favor skills more matched to your work.
Soft skills play an important part of your working life and can affect how you progress in your career. The way we interact with others and how we are portrayed by management can trump the skill we have doing the actual work.
Take a look at these personality traits below to see if they match how you see yourself:
1. You’re a Winner
Your powers of persuasion and negotiation set you above the rest and you often win arguments. Your extensive knowledge clearly outweighs that of your peers. Coworkers see that it is pointless arguing every little thing with you.
Sound like you? Look out for these signs.
- Your work mates often point out that you “won”! They might say “OK, if that’s how you want it” or “Have it your way” – Teams that work well together tend to use “we” more than “you”.
- Does your boss answer questions with statements such as “Because I said so” and “It’s my decision”, but gives fuller answers to other team members? Ask yourself if your boss knows that trying to reason with you will just cause an argument? Is a short sharp statement easier than trying to defend a decision?
What to do?
Some times “Lively Banter” can feel like more like an argument to some people and this can cause tension within a team. Try some of these tactics to see if you see a difference in the way coworkers respond to you:
- Take a moment to think on the points people have made during a discussion. Listen to what is suggested by others and evaluate the merit of these points before you come back with a response.
- Addressing others comments before just arguing your own point of view.
- Start to ask more questions, find out if there is more to some ones point before you dismiss it. People like to be heard and understood. Asking questions shows you are interested in what they have to say and you want to know more.
2. Are You a Talker?
You have lots to say and plenty of ideas to share. You are eloquent and everyone is interested in what you say, right? So if you are always talking, how can you be listening to what others say?
Is this you? Look out for these signs:
- Those you speak to seem engaged and listening at the start of your conversation. However, slowly they stop contributing to the conversation and you suddenly find you are the only one still talking.
- Notice peoples eye contact, do people start looking around rather than at you?
- Have people stopped asking questions with an open ended response? Do they say things like “Is that printing done?” rather than “How you getting on with all that printing?”
- Have you noticed people enjoy small talk with the boss, and you are only having business talk? Is this because your boss is worried that a simple question about your weekend will end up in a half hour monologue?
Try these tips:
- Start paying attention to the amount of time you talk during conversions. You can actually count how many minutes you are talking for or the amount of sentences you use. Seems a little silly, but you might be surprised!
- Start to spend more time listening than you do talking. Go for 40% talking and 60% listening. Take note how much others listen and talk compared to you.
- Start asking open ended question. Encourage others to talk more. This will help you to listen more, and it shows you are interested in what others have to say.
If you try these tips, you should notice people will be more interested in talking to you and increase your popularity.
3. You are a perfectionist to a fault!
You strive for perfection and have a relentless need for your work to be flawless. You aim high and your projects take on an unrealistic level of quality! Your co-workers have started to resent that your projects never get completed as you are obsessed with the small points that must absolutely be perfect.
What’s wrong with perfection? Look for these signs.
- Do your co-workers move too fast, always ready to get to the next step without finishing the one you are on?
- When you raise a caveat, do you notice people don’t really pay too much attention to it?
- You don’t get a response when you suggest a solution.
- Your boss seems to not share your concerns on a project.
Try this.
Does the above sound like some of your frustrations? Maybe you need to take a step back, start looking at the wider picture when it comes to projects. Here are some tips to help:
- Spend some time agreeing with coworkers what items need to beprioritised ahead of time.
- Decide as a team what is critical for a project
- If you start to fixate on details, take a moment to ask yourself what, if any impact fixing the issue will have on the project. If the work involved don’t match the benefit of spending time fixing it then maybe that is something that needs to be let go and move on to more important details.
- Don’t be afraid to ask others if they feel that it is as important as you do. If others feel that it is fine as it is then go with it.
We spend over a third of our workday with our peers. A decent manager will understand that it is important to enjoy your time at work. Most people would rather work with pleasant people rather than competent ones. All this considered, when a manager is picking someone for a promotion they must take in to consideration the effect that person would have on the team. So as well as looking at how well you can perform the job at a technical level, they will also look at the soft skills you have. The good news is, it is never too late to learn new soft skills and make you the most promotable person in the team.